from the Brian Westbrook press conference...

More Tray-Mo

It grows on you. Happy Halloween!


- Jiggarzzz

hunks revealed

the much anticipated hunk of '08 results are finally in!!

we have a tie between the rough and tough, edgerrin james and the classic good looks of lee evans. it's proof that the NFL will survive without the hunk of '00 - '07, brady boy. ok, i still miss him a little and so does welker.

WEEK EIGHT: Holy shit, its a Re-cap!!

As I sit here writing this, there are still two games up in the air. Thats right, a re-cap, before the week is even over! wow. There is a real battle going on, Frienemy vs. BringDaPain, and Facemelter vs. VeggieMaster. wow again. I would've bet money on Veggie winning, and maybe I would have been wrong. Don't worry, this is not another gambling-themed post, because gamblers never win. As our market is crashing, and political tensions are high (can anyone believe that the elections are a week away?), fantasy football is a rock, its value never decreasing, just slowly growing bit by bit each minute, each week, each year

A total slaughterhouse . . . .

Jigger's Half's glass was half full when he smashed it over Craps head, totally spilling what looked like blood all over the place. The scene was insane, people running to and fro, crying and bumping into walls. Jigger looked down at Crap, who was sniffling, saying, "please don't hurt me!" Jigger just looked at him and said, "next time, don't start a running back who is inactive for the week, i.e. Reggie Bush."

A Handy defeat, not quite a slaughterhouse, but close enough . . .

The Gold Team put Skulking Demonics to shame. As they were walking from the building together on Monday,(Skulking lives atop Gold in the same building for those of you who don't know) Skulking was bragging about how good Michael Turner is, when Gold had enough and gingerly tossed his glass bottle of Coca Cola at Skulking's feet. The shock of the crashing bottle was so, that skulking jumped backwards, losing his balance and falling into a metal dumpster, knocking his head and knocking him unconscious. Gold Team stood above Skulking and just laughed a little to himself and said, "never trust Braylon Edwards."

The only other guarantee outcome at this point . . . .

As Tears of Joy sat weeping in his bedroom in the basement of his parents house, due to the season of Project Runway being over, who should call on him but By-Tor and the Snow Dogz? "Hello TearsofJoy, you don't look so well." "I don't feel so well either." Tears replied. As By-Tor went to go and sit in Tear's video game chair, he stepped right into a huge puddle of fresh tears on the floor, and slipping, tried to keep his balance as he was falling towards the mini fridge. His arms flailing wildly, he jammed his hand into the ceiling fan that was mounted dangerously low to the ground, knocking dust everywhere and his pinkie nail clean off. As By-Tor was screaming, "OOOWW, that really hurt!", Tears of Joy just looked at him blankly and said, "Darren McFadden didn't even play, you should've known that."

The Pain was definitely brought . . . .

As Frienemy was finishing work and walking into the subway, she heard, "lady, can you spare a dime?" Frienemy looked down to see, who else? But BringDaPain sitting on the floor and begging passerbys for change. "BringDaPain, is that you?" But before he had a chance to answer, Frienemy kicked his change cup out of his hand, and coins went flying everywhere, it was a shimmering rainbow. As people heard the change falling, they went crazy, running like rabid dogz towards all the falling coinage. A woman in a pants suit dove and caught a quarter before it hit the ground. An off duty police officer grabbed his gun out of his holster and hit a man in a gray business suit in the shins who was reaching for a nickel. The man collapsed immediately and he fell right on top of BringDaPain, pinning him down to the ground. "Frienemy, why!?" She looked down at him, threw him a penny and said, "Patrick Crayton sucks without Tony Romo, bad call."

And THE GAME OF THE CENTURY!!!!!!!!!

It was a sunny day, and Facemelter went out for a stroll. As he was walking by the new Chinese massage place on Metropolitan Avenue, he looked in the window, and who should he see but VeggieDelight? Veggie was laying face up on a massage table with a hot towel covering his face and looking supremely relaxed. Facemelter walked in when a receptionist asked, "May I help you?" Facemelter just shook his head, so as not to alert Veggie to his presence. As he walked up to the table Veggie was laying on, he heard a slight moan from Veggies mouth, he was obviously enjoying himself immensely. Facemelter went over to a shelf and grabbed some very sharp and shiny acupuncture needles, and slowly, very slowly walked over to the table where Veggie lay. As Facemelter was standing over Veggie, slowly raising his hand that contained the aforementioned needles, Veggie must have sensed something, because he ripped off the towel from his face, and looked aghast at Facemelter. Facemelter just grinned and said, "How are you man? I saw you in here and thought I'd say hi." "Hey." said Veggie. Just then, Facemelter burst out laughing, and it must have been pretty contagious, because Veggie started laughing as well. Pretty soon everyone in the place was laughing hysterically. "Great game this week Veggie." "You too man, you too."

All dollar bill images provided by By-Tor and the Snow Dogz. "it is actually the money he gave me for the league dues, dont'cha know"

dear vacation pic, soothe my soul

Wilting slowly

It was a very sad week for Skulking Demonics, not only did he lose pride, by getting defeated by the (g)Old Team, but he also lost a free dinner, and now he has to fork over some moola to pay his debts.
It begs the question why? Why does Braylon Edwards suck? Why does Matt Turner do badly against strong defenses? Why did the defense that Skulking picked up, not do so well?
These things I cannot begin to answer, I only know that one week your in, and the next week your out.
Have no fear, though. The weekly recap is on, and it will be coming to a blog near you tonight!!!!

P.S. What a game between Frienemy and BringDaPain, eh? Who will win? It will be close, and it all boils down to tonight. We will all watch and see!!!!!!!!!

and this?

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Not football related, not really safe for work, but a must see

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thank me later, jiggaz

Veggie's Delights

Cry-baby special: Gold Team vs. Skulking, will Gold lose it's luster or get #7?

Poetic Clash of the Week: Rivers vs. Brees over London (Veg vs Face)

Best of Luck: To Craaaaaaaaaaaap, facing #2, will he solidify or be turned into a tasty liquid?

Blotter:
Puff Puff Pass it to Holmes

Duece on the Juice?

top hunk

ok, i am the only girl in the league, so (after careful consideration) i have chosen the 15 hottest mugshots. please vote on the top hunk of 2008.

The Weekly Recap is . . . .

A message from the former first place team...

Thanks for listening, Jiggaz

wow-zers. . .

What a week! Veggie came through with a huge upset, as did By-Tor and the Snow Dogz, a last place person beating a first place, wow. Gold Team stays at the top of the heap, remember there can only be one champion. I'll have the re-cap later tonight, but in the meantime, I just want to say that in order to be good and get a win, YOU BETTER WORK!!

Thawing Snow Dogz

SWEEEEEET VICTORY! Finally out of the cellar. Jesse, I found your new favorite website. Enjoy.

No spins

Hottie of the Week

With his return to form this week, Braylon Edwards might be the hottest of all on my team. Joe six-pack has nothing on my man. Look at those pecks, I am sure they ripple every time Braylon makes a touchdown catch. He can run fast too. Such smooth silky skin, and a perfectly manicured beard to boot.

Is he going to perform well this week too? You betcha' he is.

Fine, I'm back

in memory of Facemelter

We won't forget you. . . .

Quite the Match-up . . .

wow, this is turning out to be quite the match-up, Veggie vs. Frienemy (if you say frienemy really fast they both sound the same).

Looks like Frienemy should slash and burn her stuff all over Veggie, but be careful, he has Randy Moss, Drew Brees, and Andre Johnson all going against a weak defense. Frienemy has an outstanding projection total, but we all know what that really means.

Prediction:

Everyone wins!!! We all love fantasy football.

WEEK SIX: crime and punishment

I've always loved roulette. The rush of watching the wheel spin and the total randomness of it all. The heart pounds and the pulse races, the ball spins around and around, and falls. Did you win? Most likely the answer is no. Roulette is a very difficult game to win, it is actually the worst odds of any game in a casino. Fyodor Dostoevsky was addicted to it, all his pay from publishing a book went to play this devils game, he died poor. He wrote a book about it, The Gambler, where a desperate character loses his fortunes playing the game. But all games are not about the outcome, they are about the journey, no? As we look over all the games from this week, remember the journey, even if the outcome was not as we planned.

And now on to the Recaps!!!!!!!!!!
The First, and closest game was only won by 1.78. In what turned out to be a hard fought battle between The Jiggers Half and TearsofJoy, the teams furthest apart in the rankings, kept The Jiggers half sitting pretty at the top. In a week where L'Ron "Shirley" McClain got negative two points, all the negativity falls on TearsofJoy. It doesn't seem like those tears are going to stop anytime soon.

And the most points scored this week . . . .
Frienemy II!!!!!!!
Frienemy totally annihilated Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! (who is now Craaaaaaaapppppp!!!!!!) and beat the aaah out of him till there was only crap left. Frienemy, who amazingly enough has the most points in the league and is only in third place had solid play from all her running backs, especially Marion "the barbarian" Barber. As deceiving as it is, crap played decently enough, even though he had three, count them THREE players who had zero!!! There was never a chance for poor crap, as Frienemy amassed a stinkin, festering 124 points.

In second place . . . . .
Gold Team struck gold with his well informed draft pick of Clinton "where's my cigar?" Portis, who is constantly performing well, week in and week out. He is now the top scoring fantasy back in the league, and with Willie Parker coming off an injury, will gold be unbeatable? This was a game of opposites, Gold had superb play from all his running backs, and BringDaPain scored well with all his WR's. We know who won, does this prove the Mediocre Club's running back theory? maybe.

And all the way down in fifth place . . . .


The promise of being in first place "in two weeks" doesn't seem to be holding up so well, but nevertheless, Facemelter did what I could not do two weeks ago, and beat poor old By Tor and Snow Dogz. Facemelter actual has the second most points in the league, thanks to the resurgence of Ronnie "Charlie" Brown, and Phillip "parting" Rivers. Looks like it wasn't such a bad idea to trade Santana Moss after all.

And the pity paragraph of the week . . .
Poor, poor By-Tor. What will happen? Will you ever taste from the chalice of victory again? I hope so, we are all rooting for you. You have a tough opponent next week in the Jigger's Half, he's in first, you're in last. God Speed.

And last, but not very far from least . . . . .
Veggie Delight took it home and beat the best team in the league, Skulking Demonics. If only Skulk had put in Calvin Johnson, the win would have been his. Veggie got lucky, extremely, very lucky. Veggie got amazing, lip-smacking play from Thomas "I'm Julius's cousin" Jones, scoring three touchdowns!! Will he ever do that good again? no.

The game to watch for next week . . . .
Facemelter faces off against his brother, Craaaaapppp!!!! Who people are calling the Mannings of fantasy Football, can Craaap!!!! beat out his older brother, and shirk off years of pain and torment? We shall see.

...

Really?...

Definitely Bette . . .

"I try not to drink too much, because when I'm drunk, I bite."

Hottie of the Week

Matt Forte, wow. At the young age of 23, Forte stands tall at 6' 2" and weighs 216 of solid muscle. Isn't he beautiful? He is for me, getting on average 15 points and up every week. As a rookie Forte is fifth in scoring among RB's in the league. What is his potential? There is no limit to what my Forte can do in this life.

WEEK FIVE: you couldn't understand . .

I just spent over an hour doing our weekly post, then I navigated away from the page accidentally and lost all the info!!!!!!!!!! Holy shit, that really sucked. But nevertheless, here's a quicky, I will mentally recap wht I just lost.

The old heading (patterns emerging)
insert poetic and profound, and a little meandering text here . .

Recaps . . . In first place . . .
BringDaPain!!! He really brought it. TearsofJoy lost badly, a little too badly.

In second place . . .
The Jiger's Half!! He did what he could do . . . . I waxed poetic once again about last minute changes in football and in life, you didnt miss much on that.

In third place . . .
The Gold Team!!!! Clinton Portis really brought it, and alot of other compliments on his players. But he also barely made it (I wrote a bit about that too, extrapolate in your mind)

In Fourth Place . . .
Me!! Skulking Demonics!!! I complimented myself thoroughly, and really brought the point home that I have the best team.

And Last but not least, in fifth place. . .
Frienemy II!!!! This one had alot of depth, speaking about the precipice of losing, and how close we can come, its all about risks, you understand.

exit video . . .