Opening Act

Symmetry, sweet, sweet symmetry

Welcome to the game, we have so much to look back on, but so little time, week three is almost upon us. If you look at our rankings, we have the top, Lilacs in the Brees at 2 and 0, and we have the bottom, you brushed me, at 0 and 2. Everyone, and I mean everyone, is in the middle, a clean little middle. All 1 and 1's, so pretty in a row. Wherever you stand now has no bearing on the future, things will change, like life, so is fantasy football. What are your dreams? What are your nightmare? Do you want to be in first, do you attain to be the best? Well, it looks like it will be tough with Lilacs scoring over 140 points each week, I thought I might have a chance with 120-something, but no such luck, he might just be unbeatable.


There once was a movie called Unbreakable, and what a movie it was, starring Bruce Willis as the hero and Samuel Jackson as the villain. Bruce Willis realized after living so many years, that he was impervious to pain and could not be cut by any sharp object, never was sick, and had only one weakness, water. Lilacs in the Brees is just like Bruce Willis, impervious to fantasy football losses, he is Unbeatable, having an amazing two weeks, of the likes the gods have only seen. Will he come back to earth? Will NY NY Sports defeat him this week, and act as his kryptonite, we shall see . . .




Here is an enlightening video on how to dance like a robot, it is in honor of Chris Johnson acting like a machine and scoring a sick and amazing 46 points. 46 points, lets think about this for a second. "If I had two players that could perform like this I could win the championship", must have been on your mind as you looked at this impossibility, but alas, only one person owns this beast, his name is Makin' Moves. Congratulations on this freak week, relish it, bath in it, you deserve it. After being beaten pretty badly in week one, you have made quite a comeback, I do not want to face you at this point.

Husbands and Wives, good movie no? In the battle of the sexes this week, Heaven and Hell proved his worth, no longer the whipping post, he overcame his wife in what will be forgotten after week three, but what can be relished currently in the household, Dallas Clark did amazingly, and some other players performed reasonably well to keep the flame alive. I congratulate you H and H, and hope you continue to achieve and join your fellows in some joyous banter on the field of winners.

We wont call it a comeback, but what an amazing "turn of events" for the new fantasy, when last minute, Monday night, Ronnie Brown scored 25 points to put him over the top, and allowed the defeat of you brushed me, who is currently in last place with a record of 0 and 2. You redeemed yourself and proved that maybe there is a new fantasy in town, the fantasy that Ronnie Brown is back, and poor, poor you brushed me, who is getting sodomized in this league, if he had three wishes I wonder what they would be?



Love? I sense no love between these the two teams of By Tor and NY NY. Will this ever change? Will they come together and merge souls and finally be one? I for one wish this would happen and they could find their truth as friends and allies, rather than enemies on the field. May they reunite in the future fields of glory. . .

ha, ha, heh, huh.

Oh, Tony, you are the greatest. Please, please will you score 40 points tonight against the Giants so I may beat Lilacs in the Breeze? I know you can do it, and you will.

Thank you,
carl's cantankerous
:}

One down . . . . .

Wow. One week down, and who would've guessed the outcome? This is the beginning of a long journey, one with many ups and downs, one that will undoubtedly test your patience and will. As I sat in my living room, with laptop heating up on my lap, I stared deep into the recesses of "stat tracker" and found the strength to continue and persevere. Will you do the same? I hope so. I hope you fight, fight for what belongs to you, fight for what you believe in, victory.

And now we continue on to the first of a seemingly neverending . . WEEKLY RECAP!!!!


Bloodiest Battle:


In what promised to be an interesting game, Lilacs in the Breeze took on the newcomer Makin' Moves and thoroughly beat him into a bloody pulp. With consistent scoring from each and every player on his roster, and unbelievably incredible play from TE John Carlson, Lilacs holds the crown as the one to beat this year. Makin' Moves who was off to an embarrassing start, redeemed himself with good play from two running backs no one had any expectation from. Will Philadelphia do as good this coming week, I can only pray this doesn't happen.


Second most impressive start:


Holy Shminoly! Drew Brees was singularly amazing, helping VeeDazzler put a nail in the coffin of the new fantasy and had what amounts to one third of his opponents point total in one fell swoop, amazing, the projections might have been true. The new fantasy had good play from Julius Jones and Donovan McNabb, will his other players catch up? Only week two can tell us. After the game VeeDazzler was seen running in the streets, with nothing on but a neon g-string, holding two sparklers in his hands screaming, "Thomas Jones and Drew Brees! Thomas Jones and Drew Brees! I will bring you all to your knees!"


A very tight match indeed:


In what was an amazing last minute win, Frienemy III squeezed out a win from you brushed me, in impossible Leprechaun style, it looks like you brushed me got brushed himself! An unbelievable end of game grab from Greg Jennings put frienemy over the top in what was a very close game the whole way through, a true nail biter. Not to disparrage the numerous players that performed wonderfully on you brushed me's team, MJD, kudos, Chris Cooley, wonderful job, Ray Rice, very nice.


The most amazing, and closest game:

What was an intense nail biter (for yours truly), in which carl's cantankerous overcame the cold emotion of By-Tor and the Snow Dogz. Having allocated his draft choices to the trusty the computer, ones based on statistical analysis and years of technological advancements, By-Tor had an early lead with superb play from one man named Santonio Holmes, but as the days events wore on, there was no one left to take it home for By-Tor and his bit players. Having a tandem of Tony's on his team, carl's will roll, and roll hard, picking up steam and wiping out all that get in his way, this team will not be denied, as proven by the performance this week. I truly pity all that will come in contact with this team, be warned.

And the screaming goat award goes to . . . .



Heaven and Hell vs. NY NY SPORTS SPORTS! It was again man vs. machine in what turned out to be an underwhelming performance from both teams. Matt Schaub was embarrassed, Lance Morre and Steve Slaton were nowhere to be seen, yet there is a diamond in the rough, Mike Bell, who might just turn out to be one of the greatest pick-ups in the early season. NY NY might not have even watched the game, but he did eek out a win with the angelic Tom Brady, who will hopefully be throwing rainbows to Randy Moss all season, and Westbrook isnt half bad either.


With week one down and 15 more weeks to go, there is still alot that will be unveiled as our season progresses. Will Lilacs remain on top? Will Heaven and Hell remain at the bottom? If history tells us anything, week one shall be a wash, and I cannot wait to see what happens in glorious week two! I leave you with a hopeful video, whenever you are feeling down, just sit down at your computer, call up this blog, and just enjoy, you deserve it.

what will come and what will be

It is the most anticipated moment of the season, the anxiety is strong within us. I give you this inspirational tome to wet the appetite, and as a little gift towards reaching for the stars, have hope! This season will be full of magic . . . .

1-2-3-4 W.D.W.Y.F.F.F.D

 

 

Fact of the matter is, I forgot...

Excited